I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
