It's like God shit irony all over that family
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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