im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
