I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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