I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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