I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had to cum in my sink.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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