i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
