oh god the rape fog is back!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
