I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
