I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
