you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I deserve this hangover.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
