Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
