So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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