Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
