After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
His nipple licking is glorious
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