But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
