We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
