hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
