yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
