I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
