Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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