gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
