Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
