We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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