I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
