used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
