Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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