Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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