No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
