Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think I just sharted jello shots
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
