We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
