U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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