the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
