That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize