Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
