so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
