Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
