You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
