they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
