I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think my moral compass just broke
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
