lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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