they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
