Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
