Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
