just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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