JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
