i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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