I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
