She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize