chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
