fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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