I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
