Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
