He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
