I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
