I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize