just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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