Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
