we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
