Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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